On 7th April, I had written something, named as ‘down the memory lane‘. When 12th July midnight was approaching, some triggers were inadvertently pulled and I frantically wrote down second culmination. I completed the story again, in two parts. But for ease of reading and continuation, I am reposting it from start to the new end.
My face crumpled as I remembered more and more of her. But the memory kept going down and down the lane. When for the first time she held my hand, I was happy, astonished. I kept looking at it, a greenish vain visible right from her wrist and vanishing somewhere between fingers. I could see our hands literally sparkling in early evening sunlight! This was when she took initiative and held my hand. She now wasn’t behind nor a step or two ahead of mine. Now this was real togetherness, she always talked about. I held her hand even tighter. I could never let go of it. That little vain swelled. We looked in each other’s eyes and smiled. I know this is nothing but ordinary but this was also a life!
My face tormented even more as I kept sliding down the memory lane. She always liked silent beaches. I liked seeing her enjoyment that started anew everytime we visited one. She raced ahead against salty breezes. It left a hair, single strand of it, her hair tickling across my face. I had won a treasure of her. And the best part of it was she didn’t knew. She still doesn’t know it. I stuffed it in my pocket. Moving it across my face at night felt like being with her till eternity. Eternity, that lasted till I dozed off. All these mad adventures of mine, she doesn’t know for good. I lost that single hair strand some nights after! It must have flown out of the window to some love angel…
Wow! so kiddish, funny; or you can call it cliched too. Or was what I felt for her, a cliche too? Was it nothing but ordinary? And was I complete fool to feel like top of the world. Or was she real? Because as a matter of fact, I can see none standing by my side. I am completely alone.
Asylum doctors thinking of continuing my shock treatment further…
I am running down some lane, fast. Someone calling me out. I dont know from where. I run through random lanes, each one darker than earlier. Suddenly it was morning and I was standing before her gallery. Looking up to her, smiling. She waved ehr hand at me. I tried to smile even more, couldn’t. She came down. Started running across the street, fast so fast, that her image got blurred in my eyes. Was it her lane, a busy highway, or we had some invisible valley in between?
She vanished. I now scream, scream my hearts out. I am afraid. I scream again and again. A fountain of blood flies out of my mouth. Doctors decide to make me sleep again. I scream. I can’t do anything else. I am strapped down to my bed. I cry.I don’t want to sleep. Doctor, I understand that I get hallucinations. I am better awake doctor. I’ll just sit silently… I think, I am sleeping. My love is calling me. Phone is ringing. It must be her call, where is she? I got to ask her. Hello, hello dear….. Dear I want to love you right now. I give you my life. Please come back to me… Her smooth voice began to feel shrill then. It pierced through my ears. I went deaf to all her demands. Yes, yes there was a valley between us. A deep rift. A deep rift, filled with blood red lava. I burned my toungue but tasted it. It was my blood. It flew down draining me out. She still kept screaming shrilly at the other end.
She wanted an umbrella with my name written on it. She said it would keep all evils out of her life. Come may sun or rain, she wanted to carry an umbrella with my name written on it. But I was never a strong man with such calibre. And with blood flowing away like that, I can never be strong. I need to sleep peacefully. I may find her loving lap there somewhere. Her lap, it was cut. May be by a running train or a truck or did an earthquake struck? I wanted to lift her, take her to hospital. But my hands are in pain with many needles on them. Strapped to the bed, deathbed. I can’t die. I want to help my love. Someone cut her lap. I had slept on it so calmly. Please let me help my love. She can’t die. No more blood, please. I need those last drops of it. No… I loved her. Death loved her more than me. Now death is loving me. Oh, its addictive. Its calm. Its silent. Its death.
Love you love……… l… o…… v…….
The writing was completed by 11.44 PM same night, with a brief stop at around 11.14 PM.