Even if I cannot brand this as a sequel, this blogpost has strong references drawn from previous blogpost. It is highly recommended to get acquainted with that blogpost here.
There was a girl who wanted to be free, really free. She wanted to be like she preferred. She wanted to act like she wanted. And she wanted to live a life full of opportunities, little joys and devastating heartbreaks.
As she wanted to be free from all prejudices and preset mental frames, she worked through nights and slept through days. She never thought she was beautiful. She thought she needed not, to be beautiful. She continued to be just as she was; smilingly frank, humble and with her feet planted firm on ground. She preferred being anonymous. She never liked crowded places. She never went where everyone else had gone. And even if she did so, she remained; anonymous.
She sweated a lot, or so she thought. Yet she never hated sweltering heat. Rainy, was her favorite season. She liked to brave rains and undertake some journey. When in winter, she liked to have herself covered with warm quilts and sleep. But she never hated something as natural as earthly seasons. That said, she hated everything that was artificial. Often there were nights when she was frustrated with the world. There were days when she did not want to wake up. And there were evenings, that she was afraid, would never arrive. Such a woman was she right from her school days. She enjoyed being on playground. She loved sweating it out there and get her hair and uniform dusted. Her schoolmates say there was a twinkle in her eyes that would come up when she smiled, and boy, they loved that! In college she studied hard. She earned herself a good degree, got a job and left home in her pursuit to be independent.
Yet she often questioned herself what she meant by independence. Was independence, needing not to ask anyone about doing anything or not having anyone around to ask? Was independence, in breaking social norms and conventions or to be disconnected with the society? Was independence a freedom to sleep with anyone desired or quivering alone in the bed? This wasn’t her first guilt-trip. She had had a few before and and had emerged triumphant. This time, she felt, was a little different.
There was a guy she secretly desired, in her office. Her desire was only secret, she knew her limits. She never went ahead of gifting him an Eclair chocolate, while she secretly laughed at his meek chauvinism. That guy, a few days ago, sent her a beautiful bouquet at her home address. Blossoming red roses, nothing else! She was clueless if to take that bouquet as a humble token of his feelings about her or a warning that he should be the next one turning up at her doorstep. Second option, she felt, was sort of an extreme chauvinistic one and so she hated herself for thinking so.
She was totally clueless on reacting to it. Yes, she secretly had desired for him, even gave him an Eclair but how can that turn into reality, she wondered. Her thoughts began to drift as she tried to stop thinking about him and his bouquet. Was companionship an hindrance to her independence? Was polygamy truly an essence of an independent woman? Or did everything change when it came to women? She was a witness to lives of her female friends that had changed drastically in the due course of marriage. This thought broke her unintended meditation.
Why was she thinking about polygamy when she was not being with even one person to start with? Above all and sundry she wanted answers. Her free spirited independent self could not answer them. She then thought this was an opportunity to explore the life further. What harm it could do? A heartbreak, she was never wary of those. With a trembling heart and high hopes she decided to go ahead. She opened her laptop and wrote a long letter to him, sharing her life, thoughts, insecurities and herself in a sense.
She closed the letter signing yours faithfully and mailed it to him.