Espresso Love- 1

When he drove to his office, he had only three things in his mind. First and foremost being, patching up with his colleague girlfriend! Their love story was simple. Same team, similar interests and mutual liking from first sight. That was coupled with a few outings with drinks and dance and they ended up in her bed. There, it miraculously dawned on them that they love each other. Remaining two things were not so urgent, those things could wait. Or those had to wait rather. By now he was entangled in heavy traffic. His workplace was still 20 minutes away. He thought, his cgf (Acronym of Colleague Girlfriend, by what he fondly addressed her.) somewhere had a point. Last time they had met each other, was around a month ago. And he had after that, sought a refuge back in films he was always watching. He had after that suffered a hard time breaking out and away from that binge watching. Yesterday he resolved to meet her again. Today she agreed. He felt a tinge of happiness in his stomach. She said he watched too many movies, read too varied sort of and simply, too many books. And those things effectively took him away from his own ground realities.
It was not that he ignored her. They would always hang out together. They would watch movies together. He would read her the stories he liked while she rested in his lap. They shared drinks. They shared food. They had sex in an evolved manner. Only salaries they wouldn’t share! His argument was he watched art-house movies, cult movies and essentially meaningful ones. They had something for every thinking person to take home with. Same stood for books. And being someone who actively thinks, wasn’t his fault. Was he correct? Yes, may be…
He was totally exhausted by the time he finally left office after the day’s work. He went straight to their usual coffeehouse. It was their regular haunt. Hours would pass by and espressoes would make their heads spin. She hasn’t reached there yet. He remembered she was still in her cubicle when he left. He had tried to make an eye contact signalling he was going but either she was too busy to notice or at least she showed so. He thought of fetching his car out of office parking so later on he could drop her to her place (and may even get to have patch-up sex!). He dropped that idea. A lot was going on on his mind. He was getting restless. He stood up and got himself an espresso. He took a little sip, swirled it around with his tongue. He let that bitterness sting to the walls of his cheeks. Which films related to his life? Barely any. Which books were relatable? Only a vernacular few. Then why was he so purportedly away from his own life, so detached? Ironically an angry girlfriend started seeming like a small problem then. That was the power of an espresso. He even preferred coffee over alcohol but she could not understand that. Alcohol and coffee reserved their own separate places in her life. Was his also a separate space in her life? He remembered a book in which the protagonist kept asking such sort of existential questions to his girl. After a limit, that girl could not take it. But since theirs wasn’t a real life, the girl started asking back nihilist questions. And then what followed was complete satirical chaos. This could be a reality at some sort of meta-physical level but. His mind had begun to wander. He was literally down an espresso. He closed eyes, rested his head on the chair’s generous cushioning. In a few minutes she would arrive and find him sleeping, his mind secretly thought. And so she did.
As she came in, she saw him there sleeping with an empty espresso cup in front of him. She also got herself an espresso and sat by him. He was woken up by her perfume mixed with espresso. He felt ashamed about how she discovered him and also felt secretly happy. It was a rare occasion to happen what he had secretly thought. He also felt some remorse as not having brought his car here, but that vanished in a second. Now after he had duly acted on the issue she originally had, she was gracious enough to state that that wasn’t her real concern. Then over the course of three more espressoes, she went ahead on how she felt of their ‘unusual’ relationship and how she thought of a future together. The words unusual and future together sent an uncertain wave of shock through his spine but he preferred to keep mum until he successfully had grasped what was she talking about. It was close to midnight. He left his car in office parking and went to her place riding pillion on her bike. Yes, they did have patch-up sex! Her view was they hadn’t really broken up to patch up in the first place. He only needed some time to come to terms with reality and that was it, according to her. He again felt like but did not intervene as they were about to do something for the first time from the last month.
Next morning he was much hung over. The other two things that he chose not to do yesterday, were now demanding every flake of his attention. He whole-heartedly gave it. He felt relief. He abruptly noted that there remained only random shards of her and her activities of last night. He smiled to himself. His body remembered its happiness and sudden surge of what still was unknown, passed through him. He didn’t know if this problem of his had surfaced after he had actively started watching movies and reading books. But he, in almost everything, felt that there was something that he yet didn’t know of. He did not feel frightened but an urge to explore further. That’s where his relationship came in.
She wasn’t a book or an mkv file. She was a full-fledged living person. And that’s where the difference starts he thought. There was she, a few metres away in her cubicle, unbeknownst to all the turmoil in his mind. She of course had her own struggles, which he had not had a whiff about. There was something more than her body, her mind or her persona, that he loved. He couldn’t make that out. A book has an index, a movie has a synopsis; what does a girl have? That too, not just any girl but a girl he loved! He always knew that women were complicated. But it hadn’t hit him until now like a brick from tenth floor. It did now. He did not know her yet adored her, loved her. It terrified him when she spoke terms like a future together. He wasn’t unsure about his feelings, nor about the future. But there was undiscovered something, still in dark that was calling him to investigate. His question wasn’t ready yet and he wanted answers. He smiled to himself and tried to be working instead of keep thinking in vacuum. As any reasonable man would do, he confided his apprehensions with her. She patiently listened. He wanted to know her more. But he didn’t know how to go about this task. He already knew her height, her measurements, her shampoo, her lip balm, her income, her favourite clothing brands, her favourite drink, her taste in movies, books, food. “What more could he want to know about me?”, she silently thought. This time she was wise not to speak up. She silently held his hand and drank up her espresso in single gulp.

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