The second day at Ashram…

This is the second day. I spent a whole day at the Auroville and surroundings. The sun has just set. And I am back to Ashram with zeal. Everything here is same. But only I am not. Today, I am fresh after a good evenings nap. So today there will not be sleep, only concentration. I stand before the Samdhi, calm and quite. Various colours of flowers seem vibrant today. I kneel down near the Samadhi. I keep my palms gently onto the flowers and close my eyes. Flowers seem cool, wet and dewey smooth. I tremble a bit but keep going. I am concentrating well on my breathing. It is slow and constant. I am not sleeping yet everything is not fine. Body strains again. I change my position again. Compared to other people sitting there, I am kind of moving too much. I try to concentrate on concentrating.
Now, my concentration is not a mind game. My body has come into play. I concentrate on that flowery touch. I concentrate on my palms. Later, I concentrate on my knee, which is having a hard time supporting my body weight on that hard surface. Some more time later, I wake up from those concentrations, fully managed, fully composed and smiling. A joyous and relaxed feeling is spread on my face and in my mind. I do not know from where it comes. There is no specific reason.
I stand up and move away from the Samadhi to give others a place. I sit, fold my back and relax my back against wall. I sit straight. I am already feeling calm and quite. But the whole feeling is neither advancing nor I am sleeping.
I am fresh, I can not sleep. I am concentrating. I can not get the Samadhi. I am stuck. Suddenly I can hear silence. I can hear people walking, sitting down, getting up, tapping on others shoulder, musical horn of motorcycle on a nearby road etc. etc. People appear noisy when trying to suppress their voice. They look like struggling to keep silence. And as a result, I am disturbed. Here I am concentrating at many things, may not be at a time, but my mind keeps on running here and there. Yet every time, I am well concentrated, be it breathing, my body or other sounds!
I finally decide to get out of the mess and walk out if Ashram straight away. I involuntarily concentrate on the work I am immersed into. I get lost and disconnected from outer world. But then again, it’s a smile, smile of accomplishment, when I reconnect back to the world. May be then; when I sit down to do dhyan, if I concentrate (virtually) on nothing, I sleep or I discover too many things to concentrate on and get lost.
I do not know if I am getting a chance to be here tomorrow, but if I do, I need to investigate into it!
Unfortunately enough, I did not get the chance to visit the Ashram again. Investigation is yet pending. But that should do no harm, because I have started planning for a return there even before I left Pondicherry!

My first visit to the Aurobindo Ashram

A lot was heard about Sri Aurobindo and his Ashram at then French colony, Pondicherry. Though I do not know about his thinking, his philosophy and/or his style of worshipping. So my visit were just out of curiosity. I involuntarily wrote down about my journey and experience in and around the Aurobindo Ashram. And now posting it over here on my blog! The largely unedited text follows:
I am not a worshipper. I am not a devotee. I have arrived here just out of my curiosity. My clock is closing in to 9.00 PM. I have got a pass for entry to Ashram from its guest house. I, being a first timer am received by an old chap, who gives all the instructions for entering and moving around in the ashram. They are nothing new. Instructions are about switching off mobiles, no photography and important of all was to keep quite!
I enter the ashram and take the walkway towards the Samadhi. Various colourful flowers (and cactus alike!) decorate the way side by side. That old chap, without uttering a single word, just finger-points me at an area with many shoes chappals n sandals. It is not a Bata showroom. I understand that, I now need to remove my sandals and I do so. I take a left turn and proceed further.
I see the Samadhi. It is almost my knee tall, constructed in cool white marble and beautifully decorated with colourful flowers. A yellow light above lends warm tones. Incense sticks burning besides make it even warmer. I am quiet and calm, automatically. I stand near the Samadhi for a minute or two. Fresh fragrances of incense sticks calm and delight me as well. Those colourful flowers at my back send their aromatic creations to the Samadhi, flowing with a cool breeze. As usual, as it happens in all other such Samadhi halls, be it Vivekanand Kendra of Kanyakumari or Dhuni hall of Shegaon; I am very much soothed down. A few steps on the right, some people are sitting straight and may be doing ‘dhyan’. I too go and join them. I sit there facing the Samadhi. I close my eyes. Samadhi’s warm yellow light tones caress my eyes gently. One may experience it like the final truth appearing! A naughty smile on my whole face with this thought.
Now, I am split into two. One part is sincerely trying to concentrate and other one is examining, analyzing about how I am doing it. My breathing continues at constant pace. My abdomen is moving back and forth in a rhythm. Some time passes, I am like going deep into hibernation. People call it dhyan, but I call it sleep. Such calm surroundings are never experienced in my untidy bedroom. With some time more, I am disturbed as my back starts paining. It takes me a second or two to regain my senses back when I open my eyes. I realize where am I, what were I doing. I change my position and sleep occurs fast. Alas! I am at my worst! My balance goes and I fall when my sleep trickles into the brain. I am disgusted and disrupted. I stand up, walk away and restart my dear own material life.
Later, while moving out of the Ashram, I feel those yellow lights are lending some kind of mysterious tones too…